You still have all of me
by megi52
Summary: Hinata struggles to come to terms with her husbands death. Song Fic. My Immortal By Evanescence. Naru/Hina


**A/N- So I was relaxing on my couch, listening to music, and reading a book. The song My Immortal by Evanescence came on and all of a sudden I was attacked by huge rabies infested plot bunnies OF DOOOOOM! I valiantly fought against them, but alas, they would not be stopped until I sat down and wrote. As I was finishing up, proof reading and such and awful thought struck, What if this plot had already been done? So I looked it up and found three fics for this song, after reading them I determined that none of them were like mine so I figured what the hell and here we are!**

**Song: My Immortal**

**Artist- Evanescence**

**Pairings-Naruto/Hinata**

**Well here you go, please read and enjoy! **

**Disclaimer-I do not own Naruto or the song My Immortal. All rights go to the creators respectively.**

**---3---2---1---blast off!!----**

* * *

_**I'm so tired of being here**_

_**Suppressed by all my childish fears**_

The early morning sun shone brightly through the window piercing the darkened bedroom with its radiance and splendor. Hinata groaned and rolled over. She did not want to move, she did not want to get up, and most importantly she did not want to remember. Especially not today, the anniversary of her husbands death.

_**And if you have to leave**_

_**I wish that you would just leave**_

'_**Cause your presence still lingers here**_

_**And it won't leave me alone**_

_"Hinata, hey, Hinata-Chan. Wake up. I have to leave right away on a mission. It's urgent and top secret, so I can't tell you anything about it. I don't know when I'll be back. I love you."_

Hinata felt warm lips covering her own "Naruto-Kun! Don't go!" she shouted as she sat up straight in less than half a second.

She blinked blurrily as her eyes roamed around the cold, dark room. No one was there. No one was ever there. It was only her and her memories, memories of the last time she ever saw her husband alive. She fell back on the bed and shut her lavender colored eyes against the onslaught of tears.

"Naruto-Kun" She whispered as the tears finally broke free and rolled down the side of her face.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal **_

_**This pain is just too real**_

_**There's just so much that time cannot erase**_

Even after five years the pain was still fresh in her heart. She didn't let it show on most days. Instead she would put on a brave face and bare it going about her business as if nothing was wrong. But on the anniversary of his death the pain would be unbearable. Hinata would lay in her dark room and cry for as long as possible. Of course she would have to get up eventually, but for now she let the tears flow as she got lost in her memories.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

**_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_**

_**And I held your hand through all of these years**_

_**But you still have…**_

_**All of me**_

_Hinata was jostled awake by the restless tossing and turning of the man beside her. She sat up and looked at the clock, it was 1:39 am. Quiet mumblings reached her ears, she couldn't catch any of the words but the tone used sounded angry or scared. She flipped on the light, and turned to her partner._

"_Naruto-Kun" with the light now on she could see that his face was contorted with a mixture of pain and anger, and there was a steady stream of tears spilling from the corners of his eyes._

"_Naruto-Kun" Hinata repeated placing her hand gently on his shoulder._

"_NOOO!" Naruto shouted out as he bolted up into a sitting position. His eyes blinked, quickly adjusting to the dim light of the bedside lamp. "Hinata-Chan?" he asked quietly, he was still a little confused._

"_Naruto-Kun. What's wrong? Why are you crying?"_

_It was then that he noticed the wetness in his eyes and on his face and he hung his head in shame._

"_I-I had a dream" He took a calming breath. "It was more of a flashback actually. It was of that mission I came back from a week ago. I just re-lived the whole thing all over again. An entire village was destroyed and I couldn't do anything to stop it". A soft sobbing racked his frame and Hinata pulled him closer to her._

"_Shh Naruto-Kun. It's okay". She tightly held him against her body, one arm snaked around his back and the other held his head still in the crook between her neck and shoulder as her hand gently ran through his hair and massaged his scalp. "It's okay. You did everything you could and you saved three whole families. Fourteen people that are now living, safe and sound, here in Konoha. Most of those fourteen people being young children who now have a future, and it's all because of you. Naruto-Kun even if you didn't save everyone you still made a difference."_

"_I know that Hinata, I know that I did everything I could, but it still hurts, having to see it all over again, knowing that I wasn't strong enough. That's not all either Hinata-Chan. In my dream you were there, but you got caught in the explosion that destroyed the whole town. I watched you die right before my eyes. I-I thought I was going to be alone all over again". The sobbing grew harder._

"_Naruto-Kun it's okay I'm still here. It was only a dream. I'm here for you now. You won't ever be alone again." At her words Naruto pulled himself away from her body and stared into her eyes. Even after a year of marriage his azure gaze still made her melt inside. "I'll never leave you Naruto-Kun no matter what happens I'll always be with you, I promise". She said as she clasped his hands tightly in her own._

"_Hinata-Chan," Naruto whispered as he moved his face towards hers._

_**You used to captivate me **_

_**by your resonating light**_

_**Now I'm bounded by the life you left behind**_

_**Your face it haunts**_

_**my once pleasant dreams**_

_**Your voice has chased away **_

_**all the sanity in me**_

Hinata was pulled from her memory by the sound of her bedroom door slowly creaking open. She covertly wiped the tears from her eyes as she heard the sound of small footsteps padding across the hardwood floor. After that came the weight of a body climbing into the bed beside her.

"Mama?" a soft voice said right beside her ear.

She slowly opened her eyes. Judging by the increased light now streaming in through the window, she had been laying in bed for a little more than an hour. Normally by this time she would have been up and making breakfast.

"Mama" the voice repeated. "Are you sick or something?"

"No, Hiroshi-Kun, just a little tired"

"Ohh" Was all the boy said before the room fell into silence once more. After a minute Hiroshi spoke, "Mama, are you going to walk me to the academy today or do I need to call uncle Shino or uncle Kiba to take me?"

Hinata sighed and closed her eyes again as she felt another painful stab at her heart. Hiroshi would have to leave to go to school soon, and the thought of spending the day alone killed her inside.

Suddenly an idea struck and she sat up straight in bed. She turned to her six year old son, who was sitting cross-legged beside her, and smiled warmly.

"Hiroshi-Kun, what do you say about skipping school today and spending the day with me?"

"What?" Hiroshi said as he blinked stupidly "Do you really mean it mama? Do you?" Hinata nodded "This isn't a trick is it?" He asked narrowing his own set of lavender eyes in suspicion. "You're not going to take me to the doctors or the dentists again are you?"

Hinata smiled "No Hiroshi-kun, I just want to spend the day with you that's all. I promise"

The young boy jumped up and held both fists in front of his chest "Ohh boy this is gonna be so great!" He shouted excitedly "Can we go to Ichiraku's for lunch Mama? Can we? Please. And-and c-can we make cookies and t-take them to the tr-trainings grounds and play Byakugan hide and seek, ohh and then can we p-play regular hide and seek? Can we Mama p-please?"

Hinata giggled at her sons antics "Sure Hiroshi-kun, but if you have raman and cookies then your going to have to eat plenty of vegetables for dinner."

"I knew there was a catch, there's always a catch" He pouted folding his arms across his chest. Suddenly he unfolded his arms and looked down dejectedly "Mama, if I don't go to school today won't Iruka-sensei get angry with me? Inuzuka Kazuo skips class all the time and he has to go to detention after school. I don't wanna go to detention mama, Kazuo says that if you aren't tough enough, whenever the teacher leaves the room all the bigger kids make fun of you and beat you up."

Though, like her son, Hinata had never been to detention herself, she was fairly certain that Kiba's nephew was just making that story up to make himself seem tough and strong. Unfortunately for Hiroshi, Hinata was not going to inform him of that. After all it was better that he was afraid of detention rather that ending up like his father and being there constantly.

"Don't worry Hiroshi-Kun, I'll talk to Iruka-sensei tomorrow and explain everything. He'll understand."

"Thank you, thank you mama! Can we go eat some breakfast now? I'm starving" .

"First you need to comb you hair Hiroshi-kun, it looks like it got caught in some type of explosion." She said as she playfully ruffled his brilliant golden hair.

Hiroshi pulled away "But mama my hair always looks like this, no matter how much I comb it"

_**These wounds won't seem to heal **_

_**This pain is just too real**_

_**There's just so much that time cannot erase**_

As her son left to go comb his hair, Hinata flopped back down into her mattress. It was so painful and hard acting like nothing was wrong, especially when the spitting image of Naruto was staring right in her face. The only thing different was his eyes. Ohh how she missed those magnificent azure eyes.

Hinata closed her own lavender orbs and cried realizing that she would never be able to see those eyes again.

**_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_**

_**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_**And I held your hand through all of these years**_

_**But you still have…**_

_**All of me**_

Hiroshi ran into his mothers room "Mama! I combed my hair can…Mama? Mama, What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Hinata didn't hear him coming so she didn't have anytime to stop her crying, and now that he had seen her she didn't see that point in stopping.

"Mama?" He walked closer to the bed and stood right at its edge.

"Ohh Naruto-Kun." Hinata cried pulling him up onto the bed with her and holding him tight to her chest.

Upon hearing his father's name Hiroshi stiffened. This was certainly not an uncommon occurrence, Hinata would slip up from time to time and call him by the wrong name, but somehow Hiroshi knew that she wasn't exactly talking to him. So instead of correcting her, like he normally did, he just sat in her lap and returned the hug as tight as his six year old arms could.

_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**_

_**But though you're still with me**_

_**I've been alone all along**_

Later at Ichiraku's Hinata sat deep in thought. She thought about all the times she used to come here with Naruto. This was the place that they went on their first date and the place that they became fiancés. This was even the first place that they went to after returning from their honeymoon and where they would go each and every time one of them got back to the village after a mission. Yes this stand held a lot of memories for her, and no matter how many times she told herself that he was gone, Whenever she was here it felt like he was with her somehow. On any other day this would comfort her, but on today it only brought pain.

There was a tugging on her jacket sleeve and Hinata looked down into the face of her son.

"Mama, if I promise to eat tons and tons of icky vegetables, Can I please, please, please have another bowl of raman?"

She looked at his pleading eyes and his lip that was stuck out slightly in a cute little pout. How was she ever supposed to say no to a face like that? "As long as you promise I don't see why not" she answered giving into his adorable expression.

"Yes!" Hiroshi hollered pumping his fist in the air as his eyes closed and a huge smile conquered his face.

Hinata looked on at that ohh so familiar smile, it was his smile, Naruto's smile. An exact carbon copy. As Hinata watched the smile grow bigger and wider at the approaching raman, she noticed a peculiarity. Instead of making the pain in her heart increase, as she figured it would, it seemed as if the smile actually made just a fragment of the pain go away.

It was then that Hinata realized, that even with Naruto gone she would always have a piece of him with her. She knew that as long as Hiroshi was with her and he was happy and smiling things would get better. After all Naruto's smile saved her once and it looked as if it would save her again.

* * *

-FIN-

* * *

**A/N- Okay so the ending wasn't as great as I had originally envisioned, but that is just my opinion, I would love to hear what you guys thought. And I would like to thank all of you very much for takeing your time to read my story. **

**About Hiroshi- He may look a lot a lot like Naruto, but his personality is a lot more toned down. When he is in a comfortable situation with people he knows he'll act slightly more like Naruto but overall he's a lot more soft spoken and shy. I don't know if you guys caught it but whenever Hiroshi is really excited about something he develops a slight stutter, almost as if his mouth is going faster that his brain. Ha!**

**Random fact of the day: American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class. **


End file.
